On Straws

I have something against people who use straws to drink hot coffee. Why do you do it?

I have a burly looking customer who rolls up to the drive-thru, orders a vanilla latte, and when I hand it to him, he asks for a straw.

Isn't it enough that you're drinking a vanilla latte? Must you lower yourself and all humanity even more by drinking it with a straw? (O.K. that last comment was a bit over the top.)

While I can't always recognize a straw-user by age, sex, or manner of dress, I can tell you that there is a direct relation between the sweetness of the drink and the use of straws: the more a customer must "cover up that nasty coffee taste" with syrups, the more likely they are to use a straw. And the more likely I am to roll my eyes and feel a surge of ugly, inner anger.

Why did I even bother working so hard to give you perfect espresso?
Why did I froth your milk so smoothly?

Your straw ordering ways make me feel like I'm working at the Sev instead of a high end espresso shop.

Ask for a straw with your hot drink once, and you can be sure I won't take you seriously ever again, or work hard to make you drink perfect--I'll know that you don't really care.

True, I won't kick you out of the shop. I'll serve you with a smile. You may never know the difference. And I guess, that's the point--if you don't know the difference, why don't you just go get a Super-Big Gulp instead?