Customer: Ummm... I'd like a 20 ounce, half the sugar-free vanilla latte.
Me: We don't carry the 20 ounce--we feel it's a bit excessive.
C:Well, THAT'S WHAT I LIKE!
Me (in my head): What you like is both sick, and wrong.
Me (in reality): (Condescending smile)I'll make you a 16 ounce.
New Customer: I'd like a half soy, half skim, vanilla latte.
Me (in my head): If only I could summon a thunder-bolt to smite thee!
Me (in reality): That will be right up.
New Customer: We're from _____ winery.
Me (in my head): Truly you have exquisite taste.
Me (in reality): (Condescending smile)
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All about pent-up barista rage and a life dedicated to the pursuit of magnificent coffee. Some of you have complained that you feel insulted when reading this blog. That's ridiculous. Most likely you feel that way because you are over-sensitive and very, very stupid.
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6 comments:
Why is 20 oz excessive? That sounds so arbitrary. Honestly, have you never sat down with a friend and gone through pot of coffee together? Or better yet, gone through a whole truckload of espresso shots trying to dial a grinder in? I've been to Europe twice and while they have smaller sizes for capps and the like, people who are hanging out at the cafe just end up ordering the equivalent of 20 oz while they sit there. I'm with you on so much of what you say on this blog, but this 20 oz thing just doesn't make sense.
What am I missing?
20 ounces of milk?! Ridiculous.
20 ounces of coffee? Not a problem, but you're better served using a small cup and refilling it many times, so that your coffee isn't cold when you get to the bottom of the 20 ounce mug.
But yes, it is completely arbitrary.
Okay, I can respect that answer.
i think a fitting response to any question is: "would you like to see my take my shirt off and flex?"
Papa,
I would indeed like to see that...hmmm now what query shall i give to invoke and commence shirt removal and flex down???
"Hansel, he's so hot right now--Hansel."
BTW, How about a post with your thoughts on the recent Cup of Excellence auctions bringing in record prices for coffee?
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