I'm sorry to beat a dead horse... but you drive me to it.

What is with your ridiculous insistence that you want a "good dark roast."

Time and time again, I secretly slip you light roasted Guatemalan and Ethiopian coffees and you say, "oh yes, oh my, now this is what I'm looking for, this is the ticket, you have shown me the love and the love is splendid, more, more, more--I just love that dark roast."

Another thing you say that drives me crazy: "I want something bold."

This is, by the way, a term that Starbucks uses to describe some of their coffees: a purposely vague, yet catchy term. It sounds so sophisticated: "I like bold coffees." What does it mean? Almost nothing once you leave Starbucks. Bold? Might as well say I'd like "brave coffee." Sounds nice. Could mean anything. If you can't give me a better description than "bold," then you probably don't know what you want. (Which is what I assume anyway...)

How about this: next time you ask for "something bold" I'm going to attach your mouth to the espresso machine and pump dark roasted coffee down your thoat with 18 atmospheres of pressure. Now that would be bold...