Well, there's been a new trend in Seattle coffee of late: bikini/lingerie clad women serving the espresso.
I like to call it "Lecherous Old Man Espresso." It bothers me, but doesn't surprise me too much. However, it did start me on a humorous line of thought for other themed espresso shops...
"Jealous Stalker Cafe" Here, your barista not only serves you a sweet cup o joe, but secretly follows you around. Buyer beware, these baristas have been known to slip into a jealous rage and make a scene if you're discovered at Starbucks.
"Would you like a back rub? Cafe" Here, your barista tenderly kneads your milk into your espresso, then tenderly kneads that knot out of your back.
"Shameless flattery cafe" Definitely aimed at women, your barista is likely to ask if you've lost weight as he pours a heart on your ristretto macchiato.
"Creepy Silent Barista Cafe" Is your barista mute? When you order your cappuccino, he stares at you intensely, slowing leaning forward until you're mere inches from his face... No expression, save that intense, unblinking stare. Yeah, you'll get your cappy, but you'll have creepy shivers for the rest of the day.
Ok, this is stupid... but i've already wasted too much time writing it to delete it...
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All about pent-up barista rage and a life dedicated to the pursuit of magnificent coffee. Some of you have complained that you feel insulted when reading this blog. That's ridiculous. Most likely you feel that way because you are over-sensitive and very, very stupid.
6 comments:
Shameless Flattery Cafe...oy vey Larry!
The funniest part of all this is that i've met all of these baristas. Yes, even "would you like a back rub". I guess that's what comes with life on the edge.
Larry, here is one "trend" where apparently Walla Walla was one step ahead... sorta.
Heidi's Grind had (i do not know if they still do or not) Bikini Fridays, they had a big sign advertising it.
Juliana said that before that she would be willing to get coffee from them because they use WWR coffee, but after that... no.
i would like to add- some of us baristas are nice to you when we serve you coffee because it is our job and it makes life enjoyable. that doesn't mean we want you to ask us out. and i don't even wear a bikini to work.
P-Herman,
Ditto on the Heidi. In her defense, she says she did it to compete with S-Bucks, which moved in across the street. The city made her stop.
Anonymous (Sierra),
Yeah, your comment gets to the heart of the matter. I am fairly certain that many guys' addiction to coffee is actually just an excuse to hit on the young ladies (and laddies, in some cases...). As a plus, bigger tips. On the downside, creepy people are oggling you (you, not me...). At what point does being nice to people/flirting (in some cases) for tips cross the line and start heading towards the exotic dancer nasty stage? I think that bikini wearing is a sure sign. One of my customers is in favor of the bikini thing. I pointed out that, yes, we might get more profit, but we could also get more profit by selling cocaine as well. He said, good idea.
You mentioned this stuff going on in Seattle...excuse me, but with the lack of sun in Seattle, wouldn't the bikini wearing folks do the opposite of attracting customers?
Folks in Seattle are, to put it mildly, freaks. They have a nice reputation across the country because few have ever traveled there (a lot like New Hampshire).
Please do not apply logic to the goings on of the citizens of the Emerald City, or for that matter, to me. And yes, I do love Seattle.
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