Listen up, Seattle-ites!

Why is it, oh Seattle-people, that when you come into the shop and order a coffee that you feel compelled to tell me, in your most condescending voice, that you are from Seattle, so you "really know good coffee." Yes, Seattle has a lot of coffee shops. Yes, Seattle does house some good roasters and excellent baristi. But must you announce yourself wherever you go? No one else does this. Not people from Portland or San Francisco. It's as if you have your own special neurosis forcing you, perhaps even against your will, to announce your presence and your superiority. Strange...

Real stories:

Seattle-ite 1: Um, I'll have Grande.
Me: Grande Coffee?
Seattle-ite 1: Yes.
Me: OK, here you are. (I hand them a cup of black coffee.)
Seattle-ite: That's not what I ordered. I'm from Seattle, and "Grande" means "Grande Latte."

Seattle-ite 2: I'll have a Grande Latte, if you even know what that is in this town.
Me: Uh, gee sir, we don't even know how to read...

Seattle-ite 3: Hi, I want your darkest roasted coffee. I'm from Seattle
so I'm used to very good coffee...

Yeah, your city wants you to believe that you're drinking good coffee. What you mean is that you're drinking copious amounts of coffee (and milk, while you're at it). But you don't know coffee. The fact that Seattle has 4 to 20 coffee shops per block dosing out huge quantities of dark roasted coffee smothered in milk does not mean that everyone from Seattle is a coffee genius. Usually, the contrary is painfully obvious. Yet you seem to think you're God's gift to coffee. Moreover, you feel compelled to tell the rest of us about it.

-Larry

By the way, not all Seattle roasters over-roast their coffee, and for that I salute them. Perhaps, these people also don't announce their presence and expect to be worshipped when they visit other cities...